Its been three days since the accident. I’m really bad in a crisis. I spent most of the day sunday trying to get his grandmother to have a wheelchair race in the waiting room of the NICU. None of this even feels real, I havent even been able to cry about it. I just keep replaying everything that happened since saturday over in my head and trying to wrap my mind around whats going on.
It was just saturday that we were at his apartment celebrating his birthday which was yesterday. I dont know why but he kept talking about eating hotdogs for free. Thats the biggest thing I remember, and we were drinking, but he went to bed I dont understand what happened. The newspapers say hes going to be charged with an OUI, and I cant understand it, Yeah we had a lot to drink but he went to sleep and woke up fine, how could they say he was drunk? It was 10 am.
Maybe this would be easier to digest if we could understand what happened, or why it happened. The only details we have about the accident we saw on twitter or in the news. Theres nothing worse then watching your friend in pain and not knowing how to help it or what you can do to make it better.
I’ve been close friends with his wife for 10 years, I’ve been friends with him for 8 years. I was in their wedding, hes only 28. Things are looking much better now then they did sunday. The doctor says hes responding to reflex testing and his wife said he moved his leg a couple times today. He’s still in a coma, on his own, not drug induced, but these things all feel so promising.
I got to see him last night, that was the closest I’ve come to crying during this whole situation. Nothing could have prepared me for that, the tv always makes being in a coma look peaceful, this was anything but. Truthfully I almost wish I hadnt gone into the room, I wanted to break down but his wife was there with me and I couldnt let her see me breakdown because shes been so strong. If soemthing happens to him I dont want that to be the way I remember him.
They say if you talk to someone in a coma they can hear you so I let him know that I got him a big box of hotdogs for his birthday and that he needed a pedicure desperately. I’m bad in a crisis, making jokes is the only way I know how to deal with a bad situation.
Every day feels excruciatingly slow, I keep trying to remind myself that if you give out positive you get positive in return. I keep telling myself that every small thing is a huge deal and that every day that passes is a day closer to him getting better. I know that this is going to be the easy part and that everything to come once he wakes up will be the hardest part. I wish I knew a better way to be there for my friend. I cant imagine what she must be going through. I dont know what to say, nothing you could say or do could make this situation any better for her.
I cant even tell you the last time I prayed, but when the hospital sent someone down to pray with us and his family on sunday you better believe I prayed, I dont think 80% of the people in that room could even remember the last time they prayed, but we prayed harder then any room full of people ever have.
Strength always comes from the most suprising places. His wife has been the strongest I have ever seen anyone be, I honestly didnt know she had it in her, I know I wouldnt have it in me If it was me in her shoes. The other suprising thing about this situation is how supportive Tim has been. I never pictured him as the supportive friend type but hes been really great, honestly I dont know what I would have done without him these past few days.
Even if your not a praying person, if your reading this please keep my friend and his family in your prayers

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This isnt easy

Aside

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