I talked to a lawyer the other day about what my rights are interms of getting him to assume the debt he created in my name. At the start of this divorce I had planned to just let the marriage dissolve and deal with the debt by filing for bankruptcy. But after pulling my credit and seeing the debt im in and separating whats really mine from whats his I realize that of the 20 thousand dollars of debt im in only about 11 thousand of it is mine, and that includes my student loan and car loan if you take those out of the equation my personal debt is only about 3 thousand dollars. If I can get him to assume this debt then it would cut my debt way down and I would be able to get out of this on my own. It may take a couple years but in time it would happen and that would look more in my favor then a bankruptcy would.
I am feeling very overwhelmed by my debt. I’m still behind on my rent and my electric bill and my home alarm. My mom is paying my car and car insurance, and I’m really barely scraping by. I’m in a better place now then I was at the beginning, because atleast I have reached a point where I can afford groceries and don’t have to scrounge for gas money. I just don’t know where to start in terms of getting my finances in order so that I can move out into a new apartment that isn’t the apartment that was my apartment with him, that wasn’t the apartment that he cheated on me every single day in while I was working 7 days a week to support him.
I’m done with the situation. I’m done with him and his lies and all the chaos hes created in my life. For a long time I thought I was doing fine with it and coming to terms with it but lately its getting harder and harder, and I don’t know if its because I am finally dealing with it or if its because of the whole shit situation with Tim.
I tried to end it with Tim, I spent two hours writing him a letter detailing everything I feel and how the relationship doesn’t make me feel good and basically that I feel we should go our separate ways, that was exactly a week ago and since that letter he has completely changed the way he treated me. He acts like a boyfriend for the most part but yet still refuses to call me his girlfriend. I don’t know if this is something I want or trust. I don’t know if I believe that he cares about me like he says he does or if he just cares about having a place to live. Maybe part of that is me and my issues with feeling like love is a real thing, maybe its him, maybe its a combination of the two. I know I love him, but I don’t trust that he loves me. Its exhausting.
I feel like I’m stuck, like whenever I think im going to get caught up on something something happens and it pulls me back. I’ve been putting most of my energy into into dieting and working and trying to make my life better, I went back to see my therapist. I’m trying really hard not to let my damages effect the other aspects of my life. Right now luckily I have a lot of distractions but I’m feeling more and more like I need a vacation.
I went to the gym for the first time in a year, and it felt really good, I wasn’t even in as terrible shape as I had thought I would be. It wasn’t as miserable as I thought it would be. Once I get into a routine it will be easier, and hopefully I will get back under 200 pounds before summer.